Parking

I’m mad. No, beyond mad; I’m fuming. The paint on the walls around me is currently melting. I am so hot right now I am melting the very walls of my house with pure anger and hatred. Parking in the city sucks.

The list of challenges a person faces when parking is endless and frankly tiresome.

You can never find a spot: This is primarily the biggest issue I face 110% of the time when I need to park in the city. For some reason, the whole world is alerted to the fact that I’ve begun searching for a spot, so all of a sudden every car in the universe appears in every single parking spot across a 5 block radius from my actual destination. This means I have to walk what feels like days from my car to my destination. Now I’m not against walking or anything, but I hate being outside unless I’m prepared. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that there’s only 2 different weather conditions: Either it’s too hot and I sweat profusely or its freezing and I have to thaw out for a few minutes once I go back inside. This is why the 5 block walk from my car to the destination is troublesome; because it’s a gamble. I’m either going to show up looking like a Popsicle, or looking like I just took a shower.

On the off chance that a miracle does end up happening and I do end up tracking down a spot, it is utterly ripped away from me. People are the next problem; some people just have no respect. They don’t care about you, and why should they? Everyone is in a rush these days and are selfish to their very core… This is why I hate everyone.

I’ll quickly run through most of my parking experiences: So I’ll see someone backing out of a spot, I proceed to put on my turn signal and pull up close to the spot, waiting for them to leave. Well, next thing you know some fat mom in a mini-van comes out of the ether Evil Knievel style and swoops into my spot. This hasn’t happened just once; I can count the number of times on 2 hands. Now, I’m typically not a very angry person, but this gets me so steamed I feel like getting out of my car and feeding them my boot. But what would that solve? Yelling at someone won’t make them see their faults; no one cares about anyone else but themselves. So I continue to search for another 20 minutes before getting fed up and parking 5 blocks away.

Another problem is that there’re too many rules for parking. I’m literally scared to park nowadays in constant fear that I’m going to have to pay another stupid ticket for breaking some BS parking law. I don’t see why there’re so many rules in the first place. If you aren’t obstructing traffic, then what’s the big deal? There’s are so many time restrictions on parking spots or areas that are illegal to park that it becomes virtually impossible to find any spots. I’ll admit that I’m not as familiar with parking in a downtown city setting; I live in a suburban neighbourhood. But almost every time I end up driving downtown I end up with a ticket and it’s infuriating. Driving is supposed to be convenient; you should be able to get where you want to go with relative ease and not have to park blocks away from where you’re actual destination is.

Vultures are what I call the stupid beat cops that prowl around and hand out parking tickets like their going out of style. They are most certainly the lowest of the low and official scum of the Earth. I can count on two hands the amount of times that I’ve parked on a street temporarily and ended up getting a ticket. It’s almost like these vultures are waiting for you to screw up. The only explanation I have is that they have cameras on every street just scoping each car out and preying on the “lawbreakers”. I feel like they aren’t even supposed to be doing this, like it’s not actually their primary job; they just get kicks out of ruining people’s day. Parking tickets should be abolished, to make parking easier for not just myself, but every driver. Fire all these useless cops that leave sadness and frustration on your windshield. I want to watch them suffer jobless just like they watched and laughed at my suffering.

Parking should be easy; you should be able to find convenient spots close to the actual places you’re going. Unfortunately, there are just too many indignant drivers and not enough spots.

Parking sucks.